I had a situation this week where I felt someone was angry with me for unfair reasons. To be quite honest, I think they may have just been just angry about something else and took it out on me… But I am human and anytime I feel that I have disappointed someone or not done ‘a job well done,’ I don’t feel great about it. To be honest, it was really weighing on me even though in my gut I knew I actually didn’t do anything wrong. Part of me wanted to throw words back at them in response to the message they sent me, part of me wanted to just forget about it and tell myself: “You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s their problem” and part of me felt like I should just pass it off to someone else to deal with.
At the time, I was enjoying (or trying to enjoy) a sunset with my husband on our last summer night in Tahoe and he stepped inside for a moment to grab some playing cards – one of our favorite sunset rituals is to play cards and whoever wins the first round gets to pick what we are going to drink, next round winner the appetizer, next round winner the meal and finally the dessert… it really does all come back to food for us! Anyway, I digress, when I had a moment alone to think about it, I realized that it is not genuinely me to say unkind things or to back down from something I stand for. At that moment, I was reminded that who you are is really about how you ACT. So instead of some of the things I wanted to do, I picked up the phone (yes, this made me nervous!), let the person know that I never intended to make them feel that way (note: I did not apologize… as I truly did not believe I had anything to be sorry for) and managed the situation with a balance of kindness and strength.
And you know what? I felt like a million bucks afterwards. If I would have sent back a snarky message or backed down from something I believe in, I would have never been able to truly enjoy this beautiful moment with my husband. It would have still been weighing on me… and I likely would not have picked out our wine as a result of my win :).
So the lesson I learned here was, allow yourself room to react. Often times our first reactions are not the best ones, so take a moment with a few deep breaths to really absorb what’s going on, how you feel about it, and then make the choice from there how to react. You always have the choice to react in a manner that supports who you are.
Have a great weekend my friends!